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Thread: The bullshit thread

  1. #5781
    might be Deadpool wera's Avatar
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    I couldn't care less about the thanks on a football forum lol
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    Happy 30th... now you know to lube it good.
    Inter is an artistic venture, almost poetic. It is capable of provoking immense, unreachable joy and bitter disappointment. Itís never done by half-measures.
    For me, Inter is the opening to new worlds and courage. Itís a strong passion, a marvellous illness. You can put up with the weaknesses and admire the courage, the same way you would with a son.
    ó Massimo Moratti


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  4. #5783
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    How does that even happen with a condom?

    Get well soon. And happy late birthday!

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  6. #5784
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adriano@10 View Post
    So not sure if this is the right thread but i thought i ll share a story from my birthday night.
    So last sunday i turned 30 so on saturday i went out drinking with a couple of friends to celebrate into my birthday. Now at like 2 AM this girl texts me to wish me a happy birthday and to see if we re still out. So long story short I end up going to her place. Now here is where it gets fucked up! Fucking 30 seconds into fucking her i feel a pain like somebody just shoved a fcuking needel into my dick. I immediately pull out and my first reaction was like did you put something in the condom? Now upon looking down at my dick the condom is filling with blood lots of fucking blood, naturally we both start panicking( i should mention that i m on blood thinner so there was a lot of blood). The girl wraps some kind of towels around it to try and stop the bleeding which does not work. At this point shes urging me to go to the hospital cause the bleeding does not stop. I convince here that it s fine and she should just give me a new bandage and i ll go home and fix the problem my selfe cause at home i got some special bandages to stop heavy bleeding. Arriving home the first thing i gotta do is pee well lets say afterwards it looked like somebody slaughtered a Pig in my bathroom fucken blood everywhere. At this point i really start to panik cause by now i m bleeding out of my dick for over 1h. So i first try to put on the special bandages but midway through realize that i m way too fucken drunk to do it effectively. So i gotta face the facts and after trying it for another 15 mins or so i give up an decide to go to the hospital. It s like 5 am now and i arrive at the ER with my bleeding dick. Turns out my fucken foreskin tore!! Anyways they give me a cast and send me back home it s like 9 am now. Only problem i cant fucking piss with the bandage on plus when ever i pissed for the last two days it slightly tore up again and the bleeding started over.
    So it really was a great fucking start into my 30s! Fucken hell!

    On a side note today is the first day that i can go on without bandages on so it s getting better, but i guess it s gonna take at least a month till i can use my dick again for all purposes it was intended for. At least there was a bright light on the horizon which was that inter won on sunday.
    Just reading me caused me pain, I can't imagine experiencing it.
    We are not now that strength which in old days
    Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
    One equal temper of heroic hearts,
    Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
    To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

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  8. #5785
    #EmperorSpallo! JJM's Avatar
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    question is why did I even read half of it...

    reminds me of this...10 March born people ...martyrs by profession LOL

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forty_Martyrs_of_Sebaste
    http://img-comment-lol.9cache.com/me...25_700wa_0.gif

    Spallo Inter coach for the next 5 years!

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  10. #5786
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    24 10 years of FIF
    Quote Originally Posted by dax21 View Post
    How does that even happen with a condom?

    Get well soon. And happy late birthday!
    Thnks and if i only knew also what i find even weirder is that it was not the first time i slept with that girl and before nothing happened.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ronin View Post
    Just reading me caused me pain, I can't imagine experiencing it.
    Luckily i was piss drunk so it only hurt like hell when it happened after that it was more or less fine unless i had to pee.
    Which matches do you feel more, those with Juventus or Milan?
    "With Milan, without doubt. And I don't like the Rossoneri fans either because they have a way of behaving, particularly when they win, that I don't appreciate."
    Javier Zanetti

  11. #5787
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    So whoever visits thr stocks thread, u getting financial advise from someone who tore his dick off hahah

    - - - Updated - - -

    Better yet, someone pays him mlney to do it fot them hahahah

    Jokes asie get well brothrr
    Quote Originally Posted by bandiera View Post
    referees 'without question' favour juve? i think youre overstating the effect of buying out the refs.
    On Brozovic:
    Quote Originally Posted by nurko View Post
    He's like bitcoin in January, sell him on a high while you can.

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  13. #5788
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    That hurt to read, glad its better now. Did you ever go back to the girl?
    Strachan can suck my tiny schlong

    Quote Originally Posted by Glass box View Post
    One day FIF should organize and we should go all together to watch a game. At least 50 people. Tickets are on me.

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  15. #5789
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    Ouch

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  17. #5790
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    Quote Originally Posted by ScottishInterista View Post
    That hurt to read, glad its better now. Did you ever go back to the girl?
    Fuck noo thats gonna be akward as fuck! We re still texting and she took it quite cool actually she seemed genuinely worried and took it with some humor soo i guess eventually i m gonna see her again but right now i really dont feel like it plus my dick still dont work.
    Which matches do you feel more, those with Juventus or Milan?
    "With Milan, without doubt. And I don't like the Rossoneri fans either because they have a way of behaving, particularly when they win, that I don't appreciate."
    Javier Zanetti

  18. #5791
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adriano@10 View Post
    Fuck noo thats gonna be akward as fuck! We re still texting and she took it quite cool actually she seemed genuinely worried and took it with some humor soo i guess eventually i m gonna see her again but right now i really dont feel like it plus my dick still dont work.
    Pussy so tight it tore your dick through the condom.
    Forza Internazionale Milano
    Buffalo KAA Gent - Belgian Champions 2014-2015


    http://forzainterforums.com/showthre...=1#post1395711

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  20. #5792
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shark View Post
    I thought considering the hype they're relatively cheap? You get a pot (1 cup) for just below 20€ here. Not sure about the quality of the coffee though because I've never owned one. I was thinking of buying it but now you've kinda thrown me off .
    they've made big bucks bucks then with their patent, which has long expired though. so pretty much anyone can offer the same product.

    you may want to consider the building quality, the material of the moka (steel is better of course) and the material and position of the handle.

    but don't take my word for it, you can simply go through the reviews: there are good and bad reviews for any brand, included bialetti.

    by the way, made in italy my ass: they moved to china in 2010.

    also, a little tip: buy a thingie called "paraspruzzi" along with your moka, so you will avoid to have coffe spurting everywhere when you open the lid. and change the gasket once a year.
    My username has nothing to do with the player of loserpool fc, it is a reference to an Italian novel

  21. Thanks (2): MVD, Shark

  22. #5793
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adriano@10 View Post
    So not sure if this is the right thread but i thought i ll share a story from my birthday night.
    So last sunday i turned 30 so on saturday i went out drinking with a couple of friends to celebrate into my birthday. Now at like 2 AM this girl texts me to wish me a happy birthday and to see if we re still out. So long story short I end up going to her place. Now here is where it gets fucked up! Fucking 30 seconds into fucking her i feel a pain like somebody just shoved a fcuking needel into my dick. I immediately pull out and my first reaction was like did you put something in the condom? Now upon looking down at my dick the condom is filling with blood lots of fucking blood, naturally we both start panicking( i should mention that i m on blood thinner so there was a lot of blood). The girl wraps some kind of towels around it to try and stop the bleeding which does not work. At this point shes urging me to go to the hospital cause the bleeding does not stop. I convince here that it s fine and she should just give me a new bandage and i ll go home and fix the problem my selfe cause at home i got some special bandages to stop heavy bleeding. Arriving home the first thing i gotta do is pee well lets say afterwards it looked like somebody slaughtered a Pig in my bathroom fucken blood everywhere. At this point i really start to panik cause by now i m bleeding out of my dick for over 1h. So i first try to put on the special bandages but midway through realize that i m way too fucken drunk to do it effectively. So i gotta face the facts and after trying it for another 15 mins or so i give up an decide to go to the hospital. It s like 5 am now and i arrive at the ER with my bleeding dick. Turns out my fucken foreskin tore!! Anyways they give me a cast and send me back home it s like 9 am now. Only problem i cant fucking piss with the bandage on plus when ever i pissed for the last two days it slightly tore up again and the bleeding started over.
    So it really was a great fucking start into my 30s! Fucken hell!

    On a side note today is the first day that i can go on without bandages on so it s getting better, but i guess it s gonna take at least a month till i can use my dick again for all purposes it was intended for. At least there was a bright light on the horizon which was that inter won on sunday.
    Am I the only one laughing?
    Quote Originally Posted by ScottishInterista View Post
    Thats why we got the chinese involved. The only people better at profiting from corruption than Chinese business men are Russian business men
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    The difference between hazard and candreva is bigger than the difference between candreva and me, and i dont even play football

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  24. #5794
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    Quote Originally Posted by Candreva Crosses View Post
    Am I the only one laughing?
    Glad your enjoying my pain!
    Seriously would not have posted a story like this if i did not find it had some comedical value. I have to smile about how fucked up it was myselfe it s something you d expect to happen in a cheap comedy like american pie not in fucken real live.
    Which matches do you feel more, those with Juventus or Milan?
    "With Milan, without doubt. And I don't like the Rossoneri fans either because they have a way of behaving, particularly when they win, that I don't appreciate."
    Javier Zanetti


  25. #5795
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adriano@10 View Post
    Glad your enjoying my pain!
    Seriously would not have posted a story like this if i did not find it had some comedical value. I have to smile about how fucked up it was myselfe it s something you d expect to happen in a cheap comedy like american pie not in fucken real live.
    it did happen in american pie 2, not the same thing but quite close.

    My username has nothing to do with the player of loserpool fc, it is a reference to an Italian novel

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  27. #5796
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    I feel a pain in my gutts, fucken hell it's like reading a fucking horror story.

    Hope you become better man.

    I also woke up to a pain in my ass, hemorrhoids hits again, happens to me every 2-4 years. The pain pisses me off so much I shout and scream at ppl like a mad man. Should take a week to go away with the medicine, but I fucken know it'd take longer when Inter decides to piss me off this weekend.

    Quote Originally Posted by GenDire View Post
    They should put the whole squad on the sex offender list for exposing themselves in front of 10,000 children


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  29. #5797

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adriano@10 View Post
    Glad your enjoying my pain!
    Seriously would not have posted a story like this if i did not find it had some comedical value. I have to smile about how fucked up it was myselfe it s something you d expect to happen in a cheap comedy like american pie not in fucken real live.
    Thats a Curb episode all day

  30. #5798
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    Nothing says happy 30th birthday than your body letting you down.
    Team #Dare2Mazzari #Messi4Inter #Messi4AsadoClan


  31. #5799
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    Did you guys see the NZ mosque terrorist attack video? Sickening.
    We are not now that strength which in old days
    Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
    One equal temper of heroic hearts,
    Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
    To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

  32. #5800
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ronin View Post
    Did you guys see the NZ mosque terrorist attack video? Sickening.
    Wasn't the video removed? It's still being posted around?

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