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Thread: The comedy thread

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    The comedy thread

    I opened this thread in order to help relief anger, when ever you are upset you can come here and chill your mind with bust of laughters.
    This thread will contain comedic posts,quotes, videos and pictures. It will also help the forum in determining the comedic post of the year award, it will bring competition in that particular aspect of award. You are free to post anything comedic here.
    Here are some comedic post I made myself:

    When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather didĖin his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.
    Men have only two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
    ENJOY.


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    Somebody stop me! Devious's Avatar
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    Shit doesnt happen

  3. Thanks (2): MVD, WLEXT

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    Jokes:

    A woman came to the psychiatrist worried. "Doctor," she said, "I can't
    sleep at night. When I'm in the next room, I have this dreadful fear that
    I won't hear the baby if he falls out of the crib at night. What should I
    do?" "Easy," said the doctor. "Just take the carpet off the floor."

    On visting a seriously ill lawyer in the hospital, his friend found him
    sitting up in the bed, frantically leafing through the bible "What are
    you doing?" asked the friend. "Looking for loopholes," repied the lawyer.

  5. Thanks (2): WLEXT, Wobblz

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    Wallace
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    Joke:

    People think Manshitni is gonna win us titles.


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    WLEXT's Avatar
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    Husband takes the wife to a night party. There’s a guy on the dance floor dancing happily – breakdancing, moonwalking, back flips, doing shoki. The wife turns to her husband and says, “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.” Husband says, “Looks like he’s still celebrating!!”


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    Quote Originally Posted by WLEXT View Post
    Husband takes the wife to a night party. There’s a guy on the dance floor dancing happily – breakdancing, moonwalking, back flips, doing shoki. The wife turns to her husband and says, “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.” Husband says, “Looks like he’s still celebrating!!”
    Wait! How come you know about the shoki dance?

  9. #7
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    Libya

    One of my favorite comedians, Bill Burr.


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    People think the Manshitni thing is funny, when even a four year old with brain damage can come up with a funnier nickname.
    PUT CRESPO IN LGI

  11. Thanks (3): Fitzy, Howl, Shark

  12. #9
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    Best thread ever.


  13. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toninu View Post
    People think the Manshitni thing is funny, when even a four year old with brain damage can come up with a funnier nickname.
    Please do, drown us in the sea of funny mancini nicknames..

  14. #11
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    my favourite comedian by a mile, quite marmite though


    and a clip from my favourite comedy show (possibly):
    "I didnít want to upset or disrespect the Lazio fans, but I had to do it for Lotito. It was the saddest backflip of my career."

    -Hernanes

  15. #12
    WLEXT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manusnovic View Post
    Wait! How come you know about the shoki dance?
    Who doesn't know it

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    Quote Originally Posted by WLEXT View Post
    Who doesn't know it
    I mean, It's a Nigerian dance and you from bahrain?

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    jokes:

    A lawyer's question:
    A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law
    practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him." At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be in jail for contempt within 5 minutes!"

    A medical problem:
    An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?" "Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week." Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?" "Calm down, Mrs. Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!"

  19. Thanks (1): Devious

  20. #15
    I'm better than Icardi Pimpin's Avatar
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    how does a montegrenin jerk off?


    he puts his dick in the ground and waits for an earthquae
    Quote Originally Posted by bandiera View Post
    referees 'without question' favour juve? i think youre overstating the effect of buying out the refs.
    Quote Originally Posted by bandiera View Post
    I did some thinking over the bench issue. I think when a player is benched, it can make them think more.

  21. Thanks (1): Manusnovic

  22. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by DomesticatedPimp View Post
    how does a montegrenin jerk off?


    he puts his dick in the ground and waits for an earthquae
    That's dirty.
    Awaiting the start of our youth project.

  23. #17
    Wallace
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toninu View Post
    People think the Manshitni thing is funny, when even a four year old with brain damage can come up with a funnier nickname.
    Funny thing is not the nickname, funny thing is the man himself.

    New joke: Mancini.

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA

  24. Thanks (3): Batman, Devious, wera

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    A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”
    The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”
    The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”

    A professor was travelling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor: "Do you know Biology,Ecology,Zoology,Geography,Physiology?
    The sailor said no to all his questions.
    Professor: "What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy".
    After a while the both started sinking. The sailor asked the professor: " Do you know swiminology and escapology from sharkology?"
    The professor said no.
    Sailor: "Well sharkology and crocodilogy will eat your assology, headology and you will dieology because of your mouthology".

    LAUGH!

  26. Thanks (1): Howl

  27. #19
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    The comedy thread definitely exceeds my expectations

    Here's some CK for you.


  28. Thanks (3): Kazaan, Shaun, wera

  29. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wobblz View Post
    The comedy thread definitely exceeds my expectations

    Here's some CK for you.

    25:30: "Anyway, so while we are in this area...now that I know you guys are cooool"

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