06:00-08:00 Morning glory. Owner Berlusconi and President Galliani speak about the great plans they have for the club. Directed by Mauro Suma with guidelines from Lenni Riefenstahl and Joseph Goebbels. Guaranteed to get you over anything you might have drank last night!
08:00 - 09:00 The Mickey Mouse Cup. The story of Mitropa cup in 1983, children's programme.
09:00-10:00 Domestic programme. Milan lab shows how spicing up the meals affect performances
10:00 - 11:00 True history. Episode one. This historical programme hosted by David Irving will show that, contrary to Interista propaganda, Milan did play derby matches against a local rival that wears black and blue in seasons 1980/1981 and 1982/1983. What do you mean they were called Atalanta?
11:00 - 13:00 Movie: Gone in 360 seconds. This classic drama shows the inability of holding on to something dear. It has a sad ending so it is not for the faint-hearted. Filmed entirely on locations in Istanbul.
13:00 - 14:00 Faking it Reality show in which Gennaro Gattuso tries to convince people that he is a football player. But will he fool anyone?
14:00 - 14:30 The Addams Family A comedy-horror show. A must-see appearance by uncle Fester.
14:30 - 15:00 Men behaving badly Milan's defence in action.
15:00 - 15:30 Dive, dive, dive! The prowess of Milan's strike force in the opposition penalty box. Starring Filippo Inzaghi.
15:30 - 16:00 Nomen est omen A documentary starring Kaka' and how his name relfects his performances on the pitch.
16:00 - 17:00 Real history In episode two our host will show that, no matter what the referee had decided, it was not possible to play football on the darkened pitch of Marseille in 1991. And no, that is not footage from Belgrade you will be seeing.
17:00 - 18:00 Dismissed More Milan defender's actions and reactions from the referees.
18:00 - 19:00 The Istanbul choke-chain massacre Documentary on how 11 members of a radical cult commited suicide by choking themselves in front of 60.000 people and billons of live TV viewers.
19:00 - 19:30 Good night kids Some footage from Milan's games, guaranteed to put your child to sleeep. We advise you drink a cup of coffee yourself.
19:30 - 20:00 You couldn't make it up, but we do Daily news given to you by Milan channel.
20:00 - 21:00 Real history Celebrating the 7th Champions League trophy won in Istanbul by beating Liverpool. Due to a technical error there is only first half footage. And pay no attention to just about everyone else that tell you how Liverpool clawed back to 3-3 and won on penalties. You know it could not happen to I Meravigliosi!
21:00 - 23:00 Movie: House of wax How a seemingly solid mansion starts melting down when the heat turns on. Starring Steven Gerrard. Directed by Rafael Benitez.
23:00-midnight The Gospel according to Judas Religious programme. Father Christian delivers his sermons and explains why taking 30 pieces of silver is an option worth considering
From midnight on: Find the correct one Of all the passes from Clarence Seedorf spot the one that actually goes to a Milan player.
Have a pleasant viewing.