How about "Handymen for a happy end" as the advertisement jingle?
Awaiting the start of our youth project.
The best Fridays are when you don't have to work them.
Awaiting the start of our youth project.
"we'll give you a hand".
My username has nothing to do with the player of loserpool fc, it is just a reference to an Italian novel.
The bender continues
Awaiting the start of our youth project.
It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
Was introduced to some 18 year old girl at a friends bday lunch the other week. I felt and looked all of ten years older than her, that bitch. I got lazy and stopped for a while but I've gotten back into the habit of applying lotion to my face every night before bed. Need to restore some youthful glow to my pathetic skin which is starting to look a lot like that cunt from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade who chose poorly and drank from the wrong cup o' Christ.
Speaking of young girls, I went out for a coffee at the Central mall near my office, or as it should be renamed, fat fuck central. It must be school holidays because there's tons of little shitters waddling about and they're all so chunky and wearing such revealing clothing. I don't want to get into any socio-racial debate but I suspect it's the 'black' pop culture influence permeating into mainstream white Australian culture. Back in the 90's and 2000's, you only ever heard black dudes from the US talking about ass and all that. Nowadays I see little white and Asian kids around, talking about other white and Asian girls their age, lamenting a lack of ass. It's as if they're both spastic enough to firstly find that ludicrous Kim kardashian-type body attractive, and secondly, expect girls their age to be like that. I saw a pasty little pimple-ridden shitstain say "nah bro, Emily's got a flat ass man, and her tits are low-key A F". Made me think the 25 years in Goulburn Max Security might not be that bad.
Speaking of ass, I go to the gym in a very Australian suburb. And I only ever go late, I'm usually there from 11:30PM to 1:30AM. Aside from the small crack crew of nuts like myself who are there at that obscene hour, I very rarely see any women at the gym. But for whatever reason, the only women that I do see, are all westernised Asian girls. And I swear to god, all they do are ass exercises, like for an hour straight. Nothing else. Fuck. Get a fucking life.
Also despite increasing their strength almost double, my traps won't grow anymore fucken. Howmi gonna brock lesnar now
**I move away from the mic to breathe in
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I can see you throwing those dumbbells around, all pissed off at the fact that you're getting sweat all through your new suit.
Awaiting the start of our youth project.
Wonderful Uni ! Grande !
Your thoughts are as if they've been scooped out of my wise head then spread across the NDU thread like warm butter ! Moi bien !
With every passing day, the rising of the sun, through to its setting over the shit stain that is our West (Perth), you remind me of my youthful and confident self. I tip my bowler hat to you good sir.![]()
INTERISTA 4 EVER
“I don’t think the formation model counts, it’s all about the principles and the attitude" - Stefano Pioli
Just sitting here watching the Knights penalise themselves to another loss. Thank fuck for beer.
Awaiting the start of our youth project.
Who is on the 2-up today? I'll be on the 3-up since I'm gettin right up it.
Awaiting the start of our youth project.
As usual, shut it, Fitz. The fact that my new phone won't auto scroll and follow the text as I type is 99% of the reason I'm not as active on the forum recently. It's not as if I suddenly went and got a life, or real friends. Seriously though having to re-center my screen onto what I'm typing every sentence is infuriating.
Speaking of friends and infuriating, my friend is ridiculously lucky when it comes to gambling. If I needed to flip a coin 50 times and guess correctly, (and there was money on it) I would somehow defy all chance, logic, existential and metaphysical force, and end up with a 4/50 success rate. My cunt mate on the other hand would probably guess right about 40+ times. I've played poker with the dude at the casino several times too. Each time I distinctly remember repeatedly being given hands like 2 and 5's while the cunt kept getting pocket aces etc. Cunt.
Speaking of cunts, I saw we somehow lost to Fiorentina on the weekend. I failed to watch the match, probably because I accidentally set my alarm for 4:45PM instead of 4:45AM. What a bunch of shitters. We should replace our entire back 5 with Medel the first to get the fuck out.
Also, despite wearing Green Irish Tweed by Creed, a $380 fragrance (and taking every chance to remind my friends of it, saying "mate, that's Green Irish Tweed by Creed") I just spent another $400 on two colognes from Etat Libre d'Orange, a boutique store in Paris. I don't know why I did it. I suspect I'm going through a third-life crisis where I'm too young to give up entirely, yet too old to not put in some serious effort. I envy the rich and famous, like I4E, and the soon-to-be-dead, like Shaun and Fitzy. I need to make more money so I can fill my vapid life and empty home with frivolous and meaningless luxury items, cutting all friendships and losing touch with reality in the process. Only then will I be truly happy.
**I move away from the mic to breathe in
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
You had me at "shut it, Fitz"![]()
Recently, while I'm on the piss, I've taken to making every sentence I string together a pun or bad Dad joke or similar. It's getting out of hand. I'm having people I've just met tell me to "shut the fuck up, mate". I must be getting old.
Awaiting the start of our youth project.
OK. For the second morning in a row I've woken up with an unexplained cut on my body. Yesterday I woke up to find a cut on the knuckle of my right hand thumb and this morning I looked in the mirror to notice a small but noticable graze on the side of my nose. I don't know which one of you fucks is responsible for this but I'm going to find out.
**I move away from the mic to breathe in
¯\_(ツ)_/¯