When my alarm clock rang this morning, I was completely depressed and lacked even the slightest motivation to get up and go out to a class, so I've stayed in a bad.
I thought "I'm feeling so bad, so I won't understand anything anyway, so it would be un-efficient to run the day like that. Beside, after feeling so bad, I should compensate a bit myself.".
Maybe it's just an excuse for laziness, but I really feel depression, emptyness, hopelessness and at the moment- I feel like I have no reason or motivation to watch soccer.
Even if the derby would being showed up at the moment, I wouldn't even watch it. I don't know how will I even be able to enjoy winning it, as ACM will have an excuse- they're in the CL, so they're more tired. In the 1st derby this season, We've played a 2nd string ACM with a very weak deffence.
I don't know- it worries me; It's an obsession! The depresseion from soccer world creeps into my real, personal world. Maybe it showes how poor my personal world is.
Maybe I need a girlfriend, so that I'll be less attached to Inter(or to soccer generally).
Why am I writing all this to you? Because I'm so dissapointed and have no motivation to do anything, even to masturbate and to eat. I barely have even a motivation to go to sleep.