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Thread: Jokes

  1. #1

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    J.Zanetti

    Nepal

    21 10 years of FIF

    Jokes

    We had this in our old forum, so shall we start it again. I was so bored today, and started visiting sites for jokes one after another. Indeed, now I am listening to a comedy show (internet radio - win amp)

    =========================

    My Mother

    John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."

    About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. "You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Julie said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

    So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

    Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"

    ============================

    Doing The Dishes

    Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but its missing a seal, so whenever it rains he has to smear Vaseline over the spot where the seal should be. Anyway, his girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He drives his new bike to her house, where she is outside waiting for him. "No matter what happens at dinner tonight, don't say a word," She tells him," Our family had a fight a while ago about doing dishes. We haven't done any since, but the first person to speak at dinner has to do them."

    Steve sits down for dinner and it is just how she described it. Dishes are piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen, and nobody is saying a word. So Steve decides to have a little fun. He grabs his girlfriend throws her on the table and drills her in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

    A few minutes later he grabs her mom throws her on the table and does a repeat performance. Now his girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, and her mother a little happier. But still there is complete silence at the table.

    All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Steve remembers his motorcycle. He jumps up and grabs his jar of Vaseline. Upon witnessing this, his girlfriend's father backs away from the table and screams, "OKAY, ENOUGH ALREADY. I'LL DO THE PHUCKING DISHES!!"

    =============================

    Premature Ejaculation Problems

    One day a guy with premature ejaculation problems went to a doctor.
    The doctor said, "Whenever you feel the urge to ejaculate, startle yourself." So he went out and bought a starter pistol. When he got home his wife was naked in bed ready fo him. So they got in the 69 position and started at it. When he felt the urge he fired the pistol. The next day he went to the doctor and the doctor asked him how it went
    He said, "Not to good. My wife bit off three inches of my dick, shit in my face and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands up, naked."


    =============================

    Definitely

    Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?"
    First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue" Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange..."
    Second little boy..."Trees are definitely green" "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."

    Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks:
    "Does a fart have lumps?"
    The teacher looks horrified and says..."Johnny! Of course not!!!"
    "OK...then I DEFINITELY shit my pants..."

    ==========================

    Ribbed or lubricated?

    A guy walks into a bar and tells everyone there "Give me all your money, watches, jewelry and anything else of value or I will inject you with the AIDS virus." Then he produces a syringe. One by one everyone hands over all their stuff except one man at the end of the bar.

    "I told you to hand over all your stuff or I'll inject you with the AIDS virus."

    The man at the bar said "Go ahead, I'm wearing a condom."

    ===========================

    Bathrooms: Society needs them

    A guy has to take a crap really bad so he goes into a bar he thinks the bathroom is upstairs so he goes upstairs he can't find the bathroom anywhere but he finds a hole in the floor so he takes a crap in it. After that he goes downstairs and theirs no one down there so he asks the bartender where everyone is and he says "Where the hell were you when shit hit the fan?"

    ===========================

    Jockeying for a position

    Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: 'I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine.'

    His second friend says: 'I think my wife is having an affair with the plummer the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine.'

    Paddy says: 'I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.' Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. 'No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed.'

    ===========================

    Blonde in Disguise

    A blonde wanted to buy a TV, so she went into the store. She found one she wanted, and asked the shop assistant what the price was. "I'm sorry, we don't serve blondes," his reply was. The blonde walked out, and got her hair colored into red. Next day, she walked in, and asked the shop assistant how much her chosen TV was. "I'm sorry, we don't serve blondes," his reply was again. She was confused. So, again, she walked out. She got her hair colored into black. Next day, she walked in, and asked how much was her chosen TV. "I'm sorry, we don't serve blondes!" his reply was again. Now the blonde was really confused. "How did you know I was a blonde?" asked the girl. "Well, because what you've got there is a microwave. "

    ===========================

    The Blonde Painter

    One day a blonde comes out of the tanning salon. She wants to make some money so she goes to one of the rich neighborhoods. She rings the door bell and say, "HI,is there anything I could do for your house or u???"
    The man thinks and says, "Sure, can paint my porch. You will find all the stuff in the garage."
    The girl says, "O.K., How much will you pay me?"
    The man says, "How much does fifty bucks sound?"
    The quickly agrees and get straight to work. The wife who had heard the conversation inside says, "50 bucks, I hope she knows the porch goes all around the house!"
    25 minutes later the girl knocks on the door and says, "O.K. I am done. Can I have my money now?"
    surprised the man replies, "O.K. Let me get the money"
    he comes back and the girl says as she is leaving, "By the way, it's a Ferrari, not a Porch!"

    ## Porch- A covered platform, usually having a separate roof, at an entrance to a building.

    ============================

    Deer Tracks

    Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train.

    ============================

    Have another Drink

    A brunette, redhead, and a blonde go into a bar. The brunette says to the barkeep, "I'd like a BL." The bartender replies, "What's a BL?" The brunette answers in a snotty voice, "A Bud Light. DUH!"
    So, the bartender dutifully serves up a Bud Light. Then, the redhead says, "I'd like an ML." The bartender asks, "What's an ML?" The redhead answers, as if to a slow child, "Miller Lite. DUH!"
    After serving the redhead, the bartender, now wary and on alert, turns to the blonde.
    She says, "I'd like a fifteen, please." The bartender thinks and then says, "Okay, I understand that a BL is a Bud Light and an ML is a Miller Lite. But, I can't figure out what a fifteen is."
    The blonde rolls her eyes, tosses her hair and answers, "A Seven and Seven. DUH!"

    ============================

    Drive Time

    There are 2 women getting ready to leave for work. The brunette gets in the driver's seat and the blonde gets in the passenger's seat.
    The brunette says, "We're late, so you watch out the back window for cops." As she speeds down the road she asks the blonde, "So, do you see any cops?"
    The blonde replies, "Yes."
    The brunette says, "Are they behind us?"
    "Yes."
    "Are they close?"
    "Yes."
    "Are they going to stop us?"
    "I don't know."
    The brunette says, "Well, are their lights on?"
    The blonde replies, "Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No."

    ===========================

    They Are Getting Smarter

    A blonde was very upset at all the dumb blonde jokes she was constantly hearing. She decided that she would learn all the state capitals in an effort to defend blondes everywhere. She went home and spent the entire evening learning them all.
    The next day, someone at her office told a dumb blonde joke and she immediately retorted, "Hey ... I bet I know something that ALL of you don't know. I know ALL of the state capitals which proves that not all blondes are dumb."
    The people in her office were somewhat dubious. One of her co-workers finally asked, "Ok ... what's the capital of Texas?"
    To which she smugly replied, "T."

    ===========================

    One day about a month ago, Bill Clinton was looking for a call girl. He found three such ladies in a local lounge---a blonde , a brunette , and a redhead. To the blonde he said , "I am the president of the united states. How much would it cost me to spend some time with you?" The blonde replied, "Two hundred dollars." To the brunette he posed the same question , and she replied, "One hundred dollars. "He then asked the redhead the same question. The redhead replied, "Mr. President , if you can raise my skirt as high as my taxes.... Get my panties as low as my wages...get that thing of yours as hard as the times... Keep it high as the gas prices...keep me warmer than my apartment...and...screw me in private the way you do in public, then believe me Mr. President , it ain't gonna cost you a cent."

    ===========================

    that's it for now dudes ....


  2. #2

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    Smart Harry

    A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?
    "Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

    The teacher had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.

    The teacher agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

    Principal: "What is 3 x 3?
    "Harry: "9"
    Principal: "What is 6 x 6?
    "Harry: "36"

    And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grader should know.
    The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade.
    The teacher says to the principal, "Wait! Let me ask him some questions."
    The principal and Harry both agree.

    Teacher: "What does a cow have four of, that I have only two of?
    Harry: "Legs"
    Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"(The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!)
    Harry: "Pockets"
    Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?
    "Harry: "Pants"
    Teacher: "What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"(The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...)
    Harry: "Coconut"
    Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
    "Harry: "Bubblegum"

    Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?"(The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop
    theanswer...)
    Harry: "Shake hands"
    Teacher: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?
    "Harry: "Yup"
    Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down!
    to get me up. I always get wet before you do.
    "Harry: "Tent"
    Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first."(Principal was looking restless and a bit
    tense)
    Harry: "Wedding Ring"
    Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me,you feel good.
    "Harry: "Nose"

    Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
    "Harry: "Arrow"
    Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?
    "Harry: "Fire truck"

    The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put his ass in the fifth-grade! I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"


  3. #3
    Gismo's Avatar
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    A Dane, a Dutch and an Englishman went to heaven. Sct. Peter tells them to walk up a ladder. They walked up the latter and found themselves in front of an empty swimming pool without any trampolin... Sct. tells them to walk down the trampolin and jump into the pool while wishing what they wanna land in.

    The Dane: Winegum!!! - he landed in a pool of winegum...

    The Dutch: Money!!! - he landed in a pool of coins...

    The Englishman was jumping but slipped: Sh!t - he landed in a pool of sh!t

    Juventus: 29 Scudetti

    Inter: 13 Scudetti

  4. #4
    Pani's Avatar
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    Greece

    83 10 years of FIF
    It's a ship with its captain and his men!

    Suddenly,a man says the captaim:"Captain,I saw a pirate ship coming
    against us!"

    The captain:"Go quickly and bring my red uniform.If I get injured my men
    won't see the blood and they will fight bravely!"

    After ten minutes the man says:"Captain,I can see ten pirate ships coming against us"

    The captain:"Go quickly and bring my brown uniform!!!!"
    INTER PER SEMPRE!

    RUBE MERDA

  5. #5
    Roberto's Avatar
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    I just bought an Andrew Dice Clay DVD and I think his comedy is hillarious so the following are a few of his classic rhymes.

    Hickory dickory dock
    Some chick was sucking my cock
    The clock struck two, I dropped my goo
    I dumped the bitch on the next block.

    Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree top
    Your mother's a whore
    I ain't your pop

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    I fucked your mother's ass
    And she had you

    Roll, roll, roll your cunt
    Gently down my prick
    Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
    Then you'll suck my dick

    Twinkle Twinkle little star
    Will she blow me in the car
    Because I bought her dinner, she had fun
    Now my balls are boiling and I'd like to cum

    Peter Peter pumkin eater
    Whacked off in the movie theater
    Sprayed his load across the screen
    And ruined Titanic's final scene

  6. #6
    scutzon's Avatar
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    Indonesia

    10 years of FIF




    I have one too!!

    Three people just died and went to heaven. An angel there ask the three of them how they died.

    The first man said, "I suspected that my wife was having an affair with another man, so one day, I went home early from work to catch my wife with the man. I entered the house and found my wife butt naked on the bed, but there was no one else. So I started searching the whole house. I searched high and low, but couldn't find anything. So, in my rage, I threw the refrigerator down and had a heart attack and died."

    The second man sheepishly said, "I was in that refrigerator."

    The third man then said, "I was just minding my own business walking down the street when a refrigerator came crashing down on my head."


    Another one. This may be a little, if not very, lame.

    A group of 10,000 monks live under a hill. On top of the hill, there is an ancient temple.

    One day the monks decided to repair the temple. So the 10,000 of them went up the hill and repaired the temple. They spent 1 day repairing the temple, and after finishing, they went back down the hill to rest.

    In the middle of the night, they heard sounds of explosion on the top of the hill. The 10,000 monks rushed up to the hill and found a red tank shooting at their newly-repaired temple. The monks were very pissed, and the 10,000 of them rushed to the red tank to attack it.

    They finally destroyed the red tank, but the casualties was heavy. onlt 5,000 of the monks survived. The remaining monks then repaired the destroyed temple agian. This time, they took 2 days to repair it. After repairing it, the monks went downhill and rest.

    In the middle of that night, they heard explosions from the top of the hill again. They rushed up and this time they saw a green tank shooting at their temple. The 5,000 monks rushed to attack the green tank and finally, destroyed it. But casualties were also very heavy. Only 2,500 survived the attack. The remaining monk repaired the temple again, and this time, spent a total of 4 days. After completing repairs, the monks stayed on top of the hill to watch out for their temple.

    In the middle of the night, once again sounds of explosion was heard. The 2,500 monks woke up but this time, they saw a green tank and a red tank shooting at each other. After a while, the red tank finally defeated the green tank, and left.

    What's the moral of the story?


















    Moral: The red tank is stronger than the green tank.
    Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

  7. #7
    Fabio's Avatar
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    Very lame ending though!

    Fabio
    "Cuore, Testa, Muscoli.. Da anni sognavamo un Gruppo cosi!!!
    Forza Ragazzi
    Nessuno escluso"

  8. #8
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    FIF Special Ones 10 years of FIF
    A man who absolutely hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.

    As he was nearing home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

    The next day, he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away and try the same thing.

    As we was driving back into his driveway, there was the cat!

    He kept taking the cat farther and farther away, but the darn cat would always beat him home.

    At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and he left the cat there.

    Hours later, the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"

    "Yes," the wife answers. "Why do you ask?"

    Frustrated, the man answers: "Put that damn cat on the phone. I'm lost and I need directions."
    22/04/07 15th
    18/05/08 16th
    16/05/09 17th
    16/05/10 18th
    22/05/10 CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE
    18/12/10 WORLD CHAMPIONS
    29/08/09 Milan 0 Inter 4 Thiago Motta, Milito (p), Maicon, Stankovic - Dominated and outclassed
    Materazzi World Champion

  9. #9
    Frisko's Avatar
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    Italy

    FIF Special Ones 10 years of FIF
    TARANTINO’S JOKE
    From the movie “Desperado”


    A guy walks comes into a bar, walks to the bartender.

    He says, “Bartender, I got a bet for you. I’m gonna bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there, and not spill a single, solitary drop.”

    And the bartender says, “Let me tell you, this glass is like a good ten feet away.
    No, wait, let me get this straight, you tryin’ to tell me that you’re gonna bet me $300 that you can piss standing over here, way over there into that glass and not spill a single drop?”

    The customer looks at him and says, “That’s right.”
    The bartender says, “Young man you got a bet.”
    And the guy goes, “Okay, here we go, here we go.”

    Pulls out his thing and he’s looking at the glass, he’s thinking about the glass, he’s thinking about the glass, be the glass, he’s thinking about the glass, he’s thinking about his di ck, di ck, glass, di ck, glass, di ck, glass, be the glass, di ck, glass, di ck, glass, di ck, glass, and then, whoosh!

    He lets it rip, and he’s pissing all over the place man, he’s pissing on the bar, he’s pissing on the stools, on the floor, on the phone, pissing on the bartender!

    He’s pissing everywhere except the phucking glass right, ok?

    So the bartender is laughing his phucking ass off, he’s $300 richer.

    He’s like, “Ha, ha, ha, ha.” Piss dripping off his face. He says, “Ha, ha, ha, ha, you phucking idiot, man, you got it in everything except the glass. You owe me $300!”

    And the guy goes, “Excuse me just one…one second.”

    And he goes in the back of the bar, and in the back there’s a couple of guys playing pool, he walks over to them and they whisper something between them.

    Comes back to the bar and he goes, “Here you go Mr. Bartender, 300.”

    And the bartender’s like, “What the phuck are you so happy about? You just lost $300, idiot.”

    And the guy says, “Well you see those guys back there? I just bet them $500 apiece that I could piss on your bar, piss on your floor, piss on your phone and piss on YOU and not only would you not be mad about it, you’d be happy.”

    Classic Tarantino shit!
    22/04/07 15th
    18/05/08 16th
    16/05/09 17th
    16/05/10 18th
    22/05/10 CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE
    18/12/10 WORLD CHAMPIONS
    29/08/09 Milan 0 Inter 4 Thiago Motta, Milito (p), Maicon, Stankovic - Dominated and outclassed
    Materazzi World Champion

  10. #10
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    Q: What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?



    A: Nothing, you already told the bitch twice.
    Cartman: Shut up Kyle! Shut your Goddamn' Jew mouth! You're the reason that there's war in the Middle East.

  11. #11
    scutzon's Avatar
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    Indonesia

    10 years of FIF
    This thread is hilarious!!



    I feel so bad not having anything to contribute.
    Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

  12. #12

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    Only Maradona Better Than Ronaldo-Sacchi
    Real Madrid’s ‘director tecnico’ Arrgio Sacchi hailed Ronaldo as second only to the great Diego Armando Maradona.
    “I’ve been a Ronaldo fan from the first moment I saw him play. When he suffered that terrible injury during his Inter days I was very sad because the game of football lost an extraordinary player,” said Sacchi.

    “After Maradona, he’s the best player I have ever seen and I believe he still hasn’t expressed his full potential,” he added.

    Sacchi also reflected upon the Liga race, which sees Real Madrid trailing six points behind leaders Barcelona.

    “The game against Villareal is extremely important for us. They are Spain’s best team at the moment, better than Barcelona;” he said

    Great Joke by sacchi

  13. #13
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    Hahahaha yeah!

    Fabio
    "Cuore, Testa, Muscoli.. Da anni sognavamo un Gruppo cosi!!!
    Forza Ragazzi
    Nessuno escluso"

  14. #14
    brehme1989's Avatar
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    Greece

    10 years of FIF
    A guy steps into an elevator and hits the button for the last floor. While moving upwards, the elevator stops at the third floor. The door opens and an amazingly beautiful woman comes in. The woman gets horny, starts "fiddling" around with her body and eventually becomes naked. The "poor" guy sweats and then the woman with a voice full of passion says:
    -Make me feel like a woman.
    The guy then takes off his shirt ans replies:
    -Go iron this!

  15. #15
    brehme1989's Avatar
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    Greece

    10 years of FIF
    John starts off to the brothel neighbourhoods. He asks there:
    -Do you have any women with contagious sicknesses?
    - Phuck off dickhead. We are clean here, says the whore
    So John moves on, and at the next brothel, he asks the same thing. The same answer again. He went through at least 10 brothels with no effect. Then a whore comes out and asks him:
    -What do you want a sick whore for?
    - Here comes, John says. If I phuck a woman with a sickness I'll get it too right? I'll phuck the maid, so she gets the sickness too, right? My dad phucks the maid, so he'll get it as well, right? Dad also phucks mom, so she gets it, right? The best man off course phucks mom so he gets it,right? The best man will phuck my aunt, and she'll get it right? Then my aunt phucks that motherphucker Maths teacher of mine. That's the a*****e I want to get sick but I can't!

  16. #16
    brehme1989's Avatar
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    Greece

    10 years of FIF
    A couple from Alaska decides to go to Florida for December. They booked the hotel they spent their honey moon at. They both had work and the husband would arrive one day earlier. When he went onto his hotel room, he found a laptop with Internet connection. So he decides to send his wife an e-mail. By accident, he mistyped the email and sent the mail without realising his mistake.
    Meanwhile, in Houston, a widow just arriving from her husband's funeral, turned on her PC to check her inbox, maybe to find commiserations mails from relatives and friends. When she read the first mail, she fainted. In, by the way, comes her son who saw his fainted mother. He saw something on the screen. It was an e-mail:
    To: My dearly wife
    Subject: I'm here
    I know you are surprised to receive an e-mail from me. They now have laptops here so you can send whenever you want.I just arrived and came in. Everything is ready for you to come tommorow. I can't wait to see you. I hope you'll have as nice a trip as I did.
    P.S: It's very hot in here

  17. #17
    brehme1989's Avatar
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    Greece

    10 years of FIF
    Two gays were in a plane from New York City to London.
    One of them got bored and asked the other:
    -Do you want me to give you a quick one?
    -Are you shitting me? In front of all these people?
    -Come on, man. They are all sleeping.
    -What if there are some people that are awake?
    -I tell you what, stand up and ask for a cigarette. If no one answers, then everybody is sleeping.
    So, one gay stands up and shouts for a cigarette and no one answers. He convinces himself and his partner that everyone was sleeping. He got undressed and started phucking the other one. When they finally arrived to London, the stuartess asked the passengers if they enjoyed the journey. When the last passenger was asked he said:
    -Not so, I had a toothache during all journey.
    -Toothache? Why didn't you ask for an aspirine?
    -Are you kidding me? I wasn't stupid to ask for an aspirine. The other guy asked for just one cigarette and they phucked him

  18. #18
    brehme1989's Avatar
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    Greece

    10 years of FIF
    A driver was driving his lorry on the highway when he saw a little red man hitch-hiking. The lorry driver stopped and the little red man said:
    - Hi! I'm the red arsehole and I want something to eat!
    What could the driver do, he gave him something to eat. After some hundred metres a little green man signals for the lorry to stop.
    -Hi! I'm the green arsehole and I want a ride home, he said
    He took him home but after a while a little yellow man signals.
    -Hi! I'm the yellow arsehole and I'm thirsty. Do you have something to drink?
    The driver gave him some water and continued his way through the highway. Some distance from that, the driver gets irritated as he sees a blue little man wanting to stop the vehicle.
    - I know, I know. You are the blue arsehole. What do you want?
    - Drivers license and identification please...

  19. #19
    brehme1989's Avatar
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    Greece

    10 years of FIF
    John and his dad take a taxi to go to his grandmother. While the traffic lights were red, the cab was right outside a brothel. John asks his dad what that is.
    -Oh, that's a great club son.
    -It's a brothel, says the taxi driver
    -And what's in that club dad?
    -Fine ladies son
    -Bitches, says the taxi driver
    -And what do those fine ladies do dad?
    -They serve some men son
    -They are phucking, says the taxi driver
    -Are they having babies? asks John
    -Bastards, says the taxi driver
    -And what do these children become when they grow up, dad?
    -Taxi drivers!!!!!!!!!!! he replies

  20. #20
    Hammoudi's Avatar
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    The third and fourth were really funny

    That Ultra joke is the joke of the month for me though

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