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Thread: Women jokes:D

  1. #1
    tritolone's Avatar
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    Women jokes:D

    OK, this will probably sound like I'm a shovinist pig, but I yesterday I watched the best standup comedy ever. One of the performers was impersonating an old farmer and he told some hillarious jokes about women:

    Q: Why are women's feet shorter than men's?
    A: So they can stand closer to the stowe.

    Women are like cell phones. You put it on mute, but it still keeps buzzing
    Women are like cars. You have to have it, but all it brings you are expenses.

    When your woman doesn't annoy you, you have to make sure you're still alive.

    You don't ask a woman: "How are you?", but: "Do you feel any better?"

    Q: Why you always get lost when you follow Garmin's instructions?
    A: Because a woman's voice gives you instructions.

    Woman asks her man: "Why you never tell me you love me again?"
    Man: "I've told you once and it's still true. When it's not true, you'll know it.

    A man comes home from work tired and lies on a sofa. Woman annoys him:"The moment you come home you lie on the sofa!!!" Man: And what else am I supposed to do on a sofa???

    He told many more, but I fear women might get offended
    Impazzisco per te, questo e canto d'amor
    che mi viene dal cuor, FORZA INTER ALEEE.

  2. Thanks (2): chipschups, Devious

  3. #2
    Adam's Avatar
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    Funny shit. What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's been told twice.
    Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.

    Dr. Napoleon Hill

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    Quote Originally Posted by tritolone View Post
    "Women are like cell phones. You put it on mute, but it still keeps buzzing"
    this is sick
    Massimo Moratti: "Javier Zanetti ha sempre onorato la maglia e ci ha sempre fatto sentire fieri di essere interisti"

  5. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by XL View Post
    Funny shit. What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's been told twice.
    lol.................

    what is worse than a male chauvinist pig?

    A woman who won't do what she's told. lol


    .
    "And this one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy",

  6. #5
    shahz_nerazzurri's Avatar
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    Allow me to dirty up the jokes a bit.

    What is a women?
    - A life support system for the vagina.

    What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
    -Pregnant


    CAMPIONE D' ITALIA 2008-2009.

  7. #6
    Handoyo's Avatar
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    The best woman joke is still the BANG BANG BANG video.

  8. #7
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    What video?
    IO SONO INTERISTA

  9. #8
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    Han, please post here that video you are saying Bang Bang Bang
    Let's see 2gether.
    Massimo Moratti: "Javier Zanetti ha sempre onorato la maglia e ci ha sempre fatto sentire fieri di essere interisti"

  10. #9
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    To see it together, you would have to go to Indonesia and hold his hand.
    IO SONO INTERISTA

  11. #10
    shahz_nerazzurri's Avatar
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    Last edited by shahz_nerazzurri; 30 May 09 at 16:14.
    CAMPIONE D' ITALIA 2008-2009.

  12. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockball View Post
    To see it together, you would have to go to Indonesia and hold his hand.
    wtf, you wrong understand
    Massimo Moratti: "Javier Zanetti ha sempre onorato la maglia e ci ha sempre fatto sentire fieri di essere interisti"

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    sick.
    Interista... In victory and defeat...

  14. #13
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    hahahah shahz, crazy video
    Massimo Moratti: "Javier Zanetti ha sempre onorato la maglia e ci ha sempre fatto sentire fieri di essere interisti"

  15. #14
    Somebody stop me! Devious's Avatar
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    What do you tell a woman with a black eye?


    Nothing, you already told her once.

  18. Thanks (2): Devious, Howl

  19. #16
    Somebody stop me! Devious's Avatar
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  20. #17
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    housewives discussing their relations with their husbands

    the first one said , one day i simply stood up against my husband and told him i'm not his vacuum cleaner nor his sandwitch maker ... in the first day after that , i saw changes in his attitudes towards me , he started helping me with the cooking , in the second day i saw him cleaning the house , in the third day i owned him completely

    then tritolone's wife interrupted her , and said : i did the same exact thing last month, in the first day i saw nothing , in the second day i saw nothing , in the third day i started to see a little with my left eye

  21. Thanks (4): Devious, Howl, JJM, MVD

  22. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mino View Post
    housewives discussing their relations with their husbands

    the first one said , one day i simply stood up against my husband and told him i'm not his vacuum cleaner nor his sandwitch maker ... in the first day after that , i saw changes in his attitudes towards me , he started helping me with the cooking , in the second day i saw him cleaning the house , in the third day i owned him completely

    then tritolone's wife interrupted her , and said : i did the same exact thing last month, in the first day i saw nothing , in the second day i saw nothing , in the third day i started to see a little with my left eye



  23. #19
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    With all the stupid threads in this forum I'm surprised why we don't have a Joke Thread.

    This thread has potential but maybe we need to make it for jokes in general not only women jokes

  24. #20
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