Loving The Game Despite It All
04 Aug 2011 By The Riffster (source: www.footballspeak.com)
Trying to follow and appreciate world soccer from the United States is a difficult and precarious pursuit. Each week is fraught with niggardly petty little difficulties in just simply try to watch or listen to the game you love.
Game transmissions and highlight shows that I took for granted when living in Italy or Brasil seem now as unattainable as a winning Lottery ticket. It certainly is not a question of being overwhelmed by too much soccer, it is a question of being frustrated by the failure of getting *any* soccer.
I now log for you a typical week in the life of a calcio-fussball-footy-futbol fanatic in the US of A. Land of the Free, and Home Of The Desperate(ly seeking a live feed of Champion's League match.)
First, let me say that I am not a frequenter of bars. Well, I used to be, but that was when I could withstand an afternoon/evening/night of drinking, bad food and cigarette smoke. That rules out most US sports bars with their desired satellite dishes. Back then I could bounce back quickly from the hangover/upset stomach/bloodshot eyes/nausea accumulated from a night of drinking/eating/partaking involuntarily of second-hand smoke. Now I do this once or twice a year and regret it immensely the following morning. Once every week during soccer season is out of the question.
Age or wisdom? A little of both!
And most of these "sports bars" aren't open at the hours I want to watch soccer (early Sunday morning). And if the game is later on Sunday, there are a *few* American Football fanatics almost everywhere in the bar that object to even one of 26 screens being focused on anything but pictures of giants smashing into one another at high rates of speed. Oh, yeah, a couple of guys want to watch a re-run of "Home Improvement".
So, that rules out bars. For many reasons. But the conservation of my health is turning me to thoughts of crime.
I decide I am going to use the advantages of modern technology to watch. The satellite dish is a wonderful invention, but there is one problem that soccer fans in Chicago know well. Only one dish network is worth getting if you want first-rate international soccer -- DishTV.
But there is a problem with DishTV. The satellite that midwest subscribers must point at to get RAI International with its' excellent slate of Serie A games is over Denver and quite low in the sky. So you have to point your dish at the west and very low. That means a clear line of sight with no obstructions over 15-20 feet high is needed to the West.
Well, they say that 95% of the forested lands in the United States have been cleared now. Well, it seems the 5% left is clustered in the way of access to the satellite of my dreams!
I have always been a lover of nature, who has decried the clearing of trees for yet another strip mall, or another Blockbuster Video, or another McDonald's. But I would be lying if I didn't think about poisoning an oak or maple or two over the last year. God help me.
Hmmm... sneak out at night with a can of powerful herbicide and inject it into a tree in multiple locations. I would really have to jack into a tree to do that kind of damage. Probably have to tap into the roots as well as the heart of the trunk.
Not to mention I would be sneaking into someone else's property, not only being guilty of killing a tree, but also of trespassing and malicious damage to a neighbour's property. Not exactly my cup of tea.
So Paul, what did you do this weekend?
I mowed the lawn, seeded the bare spots, stripped some old paint, layed some new insulation in the ceiling, and I, er... er....
I er, killed two trees.
Ah, er, because, er, I couldn't point my dish at a satellite.
Ah, heh, yeah. I just can't take it anymore, I missed Juve against Inter!
WHAT! For a lousy soccer game?!?!
I slink away ashamed. How low can I sink to see a child's game of adults kicking a ball into a net! Madonna....
But this is just the start of the agony.
Continued at http://footballspeak.com/post/2011/0...te-It-All.aspx