I have been an Inter supporter since 1991. As I got older and with the development of technology such as the internet and Pay TV in Australia, I have been better able to follow them.
When I was single, I had very little else in my life. Inter were everything and poor results, especially against Milan and Juventus would fuck me off for the good part of a week. I have been very constant in my support for Inter as a club. Over the years, I witnessed alot of shit during games but I have always stuck by them.
I used to watch every game. Even recorded games that I knew we had lost I would still sit through and watch the game because that is what a supporter does. I think there are times that I did that to the detriment of my own psychological well being. For some reason, I used to think that suffering with my team is part of being a supporter.
Admittedly, the post treble years have been the most difficult for me. As you guys would know there have been times when Inter were horribly painful to watch. It may have started with Ranieri and was probably at its worst with Mazzarri. Accordingly, there were times when I stopped watching games but still followed our results.
It's funny I had so much optimism for this season but we have started so poorly. I recorded both of our games against Sassuolo and Torino but I have not watched them. I can't bring myself to do it because it will piss me off.
I do not think that I love or care for Inter less than I did many years ago. I think it is more to do with the fact that my life has changed. I have a wife and 10 month old baby girl. Why should I be rabid when the Shit Cunts that take to the field wearing our colours are so half-arsed? Or why should I be crazy for Inter when Spalletti keeps making the same mistakes when it comes to player selection and the starting eleven? Is one player, Nainggolan, really going to make that much of a difference to this Inter?
The truth be told, I would rather be spending that time with my wife and daughter than sitting in front of the TV cursing our players, our opponents or the referees. Not to mention the fact that the game for me does not end when I have turned off the TV. There have been times when my foul and snappy moods after a poor showing have ruined post match time with my family.
Right now, I feel indifference towards Inter. Before each game, I think about our opponents, who Spalletti might play and will be optimistic that we can get a result and kick start our season. But when I wake up in the morning and learn the results, I feel disappointed and glad that I did not wake up at or 3 or 4am to watch a Shit Show. I have kind of carried over this habit from last season. Or maybe it is simply the fact that I am an old bastard who values his sleep more than watching his shit football team.
We might be back in the Champions League this season and we might have a better team than last season but I am not convinced. I am not convinced because we still have the same psychological frailties and disjointedness that has plagued us throughout the post treble years. The only difference is the playing personnel and coach are different. In my view, the Champions League could well be the stage on which our shortcomings as a team will be exposed on a global scale and that thought does not sit well with me. Despite Spalletti having somewhat steadied the ship and Suning having found new investors, we seem more like past seasons than ever before.
Nicola Berti recently said that the players do not value the colours of the shirt they are wearing. I tend to agree with him and perhaps the saddest thing for me as an Inter supporter is that in many respects, the way I presently feel about the team and the way I am following themis a reflection of the way our players are performing on the field.