everybody can you rate my poem that i wrote myself please

[Lamb of God]

SWEET SUNSHINE AND FRIEND

Frienship is like a flower depending on the sun
The flower blooms beautifully when it feels the sweet bright touch of the sun

Friendship is like the flower when it needs the sun to bloom and show its very beauty and vitality
The power of friendship is untouchable when im with you
just like the flower feeling the warmness and brightness of the sun

Without you im nothing but a withered flower which has nothing to show but dead petals
friendship is a sun that gives hope and air to every flower to look as fresh and bloom as reddish as it possibly can

May you be my sun my air and everything you can for me to keep me blossoming my very own red petals

has anyone liked it.

 

[Pajo]

It's OK Yav. You just should've tried to make rhime. The rest is good...
To whom this was ment to?

 

[Lamb of God]

thanks paj youre on spot its to one of my close gf.well thanks ill do better.this is my first time im writting a poem.

 

[Lamb of God]

SUPERIORITY THE ARRAGONT MONSTER


Dont fear nor feel inferior to those who feel superior
Perseverance and determination will take you there
The taste of victory is so sweet and superiority seems so weak
For im not inferior anymore to your superior ways
Im like a bomb full of ideas that will carry me through glory days

You can hold me down but not put me down
I will rise up to every struggle you face to my very advantage
My ideas are expanding time to time minute to minutes and to every mili second i have
For you will cringe when you feel my atomic bomb of ideas that will overshadow your superiority

The pointy fingers of time tells me rise up against superiority and face the monster in the eyes
As you will not fall as long youre not afraid against superiority we rise up as warriors in milion ways
Feel my atomic weapon which is as good as seven to im informed that will make you tremble
Working in secrecy is half the battle won and striking the monster is best when not expected for i will be the hero who triumph over superiority

I am what i read as to the management of ideas for which i will create the atomic superiority to which i will kill the superior maniac
Patience is a virtue as to know when to strike the superior monster and how is the very answer
Learning is like an atom transforming to molecule and lastly to infinity where nothing can put it down as to my doctrine ideas will be passed to posterity for many centuries to come till the earth rots and when history repeats itself from the very begining to the end where the war of ideas is ever fiercer and the victims sadly inferior against superior where they torture mutilate and annihilate at every slightest opportunity to which we must rise up against tyranny

 

[Pajo]

You are getting better, keep going!

 

[Lamb of God]

My Poem Dedicated My My Beloved Internazionale And All Interista All Around The World

Internazionale my love for you is without boundaries as i have supported you on my bare shoulders day and night asking you with hope when will we shut them all again and return as kings again
Loving you was like the feeling you get on a roller coaster ride with ups and downs but i will never stop loving you as you are my inspiration for day and night
I get joy from watching your expression filled with gush of blood to the brain when the play is on I have never felt more loved before in this very place i call internazionale
The two sweetest yet touching black and blue of my beloved internazionale feels me with pride to say we are the sons and daughters of you my internazionale
I have taken insults from other fans such as the zebras wolfs donkeys and of course of own blood cousin the devil you my beloved internazionale represent honesty and integrity the black and blue of heaven shall be
I will cry and laugh with you as a son would do for my beloved internazionale you are the reason of my life you mean a thousand things that even love cant buy
we shall be the kings of europe and serie a this is the opportunity to avenge the injustice being done to my beloved one which words could not express my thousand loves that i have towards you
internazionale you will be ever so beautiful with all the love that we shall shower and cherish you with this will let you live as an angel whom the devils would envy too as your are my beloved chandelier that gives unlimited love to your sons and daughters
FORZA INTER MAY GOD BLESS OUR BELOVED MOTHER

 

[Lamb of God]

thanks pajo you seem to be helping me man.ill make sure i do more practice to give its golden touch.

 

[Pajo]

Remeber on MSN, I gave you one poem? Well, you can use some of it's words if you want to man.

 

[Lamb of God]

hahahah well have you checked my inter poem.well thanks for the offer man.i hope you will like that inter poem.i truly meant it .

 

[Pajo]

What's happening bro, are you inloved or what? Sudenly, you decided to write poems.... Well done with this one!

 

[Lamb of God]

thank you mate as you know i like beauty of nature and words and i choose to express through the deepest and sincere way through poems and i hope you will get joy from reading my works as i do enjoy with your company

 

[Handoyo]

Thanks for the poem. Threads merged.


Handyo

 

[rainBOWstarlite]

It's beautiful. A poem dosen't have to rhyme to be good.

 

[Cro Nerazzurro]

Sadly, I cant write poems on english, but my Crotian poems are awsome
Friends wanted me to write some for their gf's, they wouldnt know its actually my poem. It was only thing I allways get an A in school
And whenever I go out,to drink,I make some very quick, fun ones, and then its a crazy funny night

FInally found one thing,with football,that I am good with...
Keep it up yavinesh and co.

 

[Lamb of God]

thanks cro nerazzuro you might be my teacher in the future when it comes to poems.well whatever it is thanks very much guys and to handoyo for putting the thread together.

 

[Lamb of God]

my third poem to all interista to the mods and administrators have a great day

I WILL PRAY FOR YOUR HEALTH SO YOU WILL LIVE WITH WEALTH

I will cherish your friendship as you did with mine
You will lose nothing but ease your mind
For these words will be music in your ears
That i will use to ease yours tears

My friendship with you is as strong as a flaming concrete chain
No one would dare to tear us apart again
It would take the whole earth to break this flaming concrete chain
For friendship is never stale

This is to my beloved keeper of the flaming concrete chain
I will try my best to ease you mind and spread positivity which begets a beautiful state of mind
A clean mind is a Gods home to which i will kneel and bow before the royal home

GOD BLESS THE POSITIVE SOUL FOR HEALTH IS A POT OF GOLD

 

[pablito]

nice poems Yav...keep up the good work

 

[Lamb of God]

The Beast

The beast is born with looks that scorn

Taught compassion give affection but lack reflection of love

Blood is internal not external as to the flesh consecrated on the inside desecrated on the outside

Black conscience should never blind an open eye with life all time high

Negativity will be banished but postivity will be flourished

Killers are reflection of a beast that lacks affection waiting to face
aggravatated mutalation through absolute justice

Mutilated beast foretells apocalyptic thrills welcomes bloodshed feast in sacredness of obscured blindness

Evolution foretells future of massacre bliss for gullible beings

Purity of the beast must be done before excavation takes its tolls on the human race

Bloodshed will break the sanctity of race that seems to be on the brink of extinction

This poem is about man who are becoming worse than animals in their quest for self satisfaction in their evil ways

 

[Pajo]

Wow Yav, what made you write this poem bro?? You must have some deep feelings to write this man...

 

[Lamb of God]

man paj youre real quick.well I have been reading a lot about man killing another man it seems like we are going forward in terms of technology but the mind is more worse than the stone age times.hope you like it.I thought and wrote it right away forza inter